July 27, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
· Filed under UFOS, abandoned factory, abduction, aliens, deepthroat, forests, government conspiracy, i'm a doctor, implants, local law enforcement, military, mysterious interference, plot, radiation, scully missed it
1×09 Fallen Angel
Episode summary:
On a tip from Deepthroat, Mulder books to Wisconsin to investigate the crash of a mysterious flying something-or-other, gets arrested by the army, and meets UFO conspiracy wonk/epileptic Max Fenig. Scully tries to take Mulder back to DC in time for the “should we close the X-Files” hearing, but hijinks ensue which culminate in the apparent abduction of Max by aliens. Probably. And then the X-Files don’t get closed after all!
Wood you like to hear what happened?
We open in the woods, in Wisconsin. A fire! Deputy Rike, from the sheriff’s office investigates the situation.
And then a cut to US Space Surveillance Center in Colorado! They’ve spotted a bogey.
Bogey on my six!
It was flying around like no known aircraft could; also, it was an object. Additionally: not identified.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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July 23, 2008 @ 4:26 pm
· Filed under Eugene Tooms
Tooms sighting!
Police in Houston say a murder suspect who lost weight so he could escape from jail by squeezing through a vent has been caught taking a dip in a motel swimming pool.
Police say Darryl Layne Norris was back in custody Wednesday.
Yeah, “Darryl”. Sure. (Hat tip to Joel, our special agent in Massachusetts.)
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July 12, 2008 @ 8:45 pm
· Filed under aliens, computers, defenestration, ghosts, sunflower seeds, unmysterious interference
1×08 Space
Episode summary:
A NASA staffer contacts Mulder and Scully with concerns about sabotage on a current shuttle mission. They look into it, with Mulder taking plenty of time on the side to regress to being a twelve-year-old astronautics nerd. In the end, the shuttle is safe, but the troubled Colonel Marc Belt dies in what might be an act of extra-terrestrial foul play — or courageous sacrifice. Either way, he jumps out a window and Mulder loses some innocence.
Space, back in the day
WXDL News 11 is on the scene where all the hip kids are– at the NASA Jet Propulsion Lab in 1977! They’ve got photos of Mars! Proof of water! Martian face! Film at 11!
I think you’ve got a little bit of Mars on your face there
And then the implausibly named Lt. Col. Marcus Aurelius Belt has a bad dream (or memory?) about being in space. And he wakes up and stares up at the ceiling and suddenly he gets bumrushed by THAT MARS FACE!
CEILING MARS FACE IS WATCHING YOU SOMETHING SOMETHING
This is basically like that email where it’s all “watch this video, something creepy happens” and then a zombie jumps out at you and he’s all like “AAAAAUUGHHH!” and you’re all like “AAAAAUUUUGHHH!” and that’s just like this.
It’s like, thanks for the neat email, MOM.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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June 30, 2008 @ 9:36 pm
· Filed under aliens, injured agent, parasites, really cold place, science run amok, shirtlessness
1×07 Ice
Episode summary:
Our heroes go on assignment Alaska, to investigate some violent trouble at a remote ice-core research facility. They, and their civilian scientific cohort, get stranded after a dog attack infects and ultimately kills their pilot. Paranoia and shouting and a certain amount of death ensues, before a chance discovery helps the agents neutralize the ancient, ice-dwelling parasitic threat. Also, everybody gets naked.
Stir crazy in Alaska
We’re in beautiful Icy Cape, Alaska, where there’s a bunch of dead people and a SHIRTLESS dude with a gun.
Two guns.
Is that a joke about muscles?
What?
Like, he’s got free tickets to the GUN SHOW?
No, he has two guns in his hands.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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June 19, 2008 @ 9:30 pm
· Filed under computers, deepthroat, science run amok
1×06 – Ghost in the Machine
Episode summary:
Übergeek Brad Wilczek over-übers it and creates an Artificial Intelligence that will kill others to save itself. Mulder’s old partner Jerry acts like a jerk and then gets killed, and then Mulder and Scully disable the killer AI except maybe not.
The Intro Bit
It’s a company named Eurisko! (NOT ESKIMO.) Their stock is totally in the toilet!
It’s not safe if someone flushes!
Who keeps their stock in a toilet anyway? That’s unhygenic.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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June 18, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
· Filed under Uncategorized
We were just out enjoying the lovely Portland weather when we saw this:
Does anybody else see this? I mean, that’s Bigfoot! Right there! Holy cow!
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June 8, 2008 @ 2:18 pm
· Filed under bath time, computers, ghosts, men in black, psychokinetic manipulation, scully missed it, spectral phenomena
1×05 – Shadows
Episode summary:
Our agents get called in by some mysterious, tight-lipped spooks to check out some twitchy corpses, but soon find themselves embroiled in deep weirdness tied to a woman named Lauren Kite and her dead (OR IS HE?! [yes, he is]) boss Howard Graves. After chasing some dead-ends, they eventually manage to bust Lauren’s corrupt new boss — with some help from Ghost of Howard. Later, Scully shares her thoughts re: the Liberty Bell.
Desk of a dead dude
We open on…the desk of Howard Graves! A woman is crying. Her name is Lauren. She hasn’t known a lot of people who died, or anyone whose killed themselves…meaning Howard?
And then a plaque on Howard’s desk suddenly shifts several inches ALL BY ITSELF.
GHOSTS
Then Lauren is at an ATM…
You know, lots of people call them “ATM machines”. I think it’s a government acronym coverup, to make citizens forget what the “M” stands for.
STFU, Fox.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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May 28, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
· Filed under abandoned factory, forests, injured agent, local law enforcement, nature run amok
The Jersey Devil — 1×04
Episode summary:
After a corpse turns up in New Jersey with limbs chewed off BY HUMAN TEETH, Scully and Mulder head to Atlantic City, where Mulder argues with a local top cop and manages to spend a night in jail. With some help from an anthropologist and a park ranger, the agents eventually track down the (female!) Jersey Devil, but she’s killed in an altercation with the local police force. Also, Scully goes on a date.
1947
Night. A nuclear family in a car outside New Jersey. Singing “BINGO”. Flat tire! Dad goes out to fix it. Taps on the wife’s window with his flashlight, and says:
“Honey, do you mind holding the light for a secoAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRBGGGGH”
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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May 18, 2008 @ 6:50 pm
· Filed under UFOS, abduction, computers, deep regression hypnosis, exhumation, fakeout glowing lights, forests, local law enforcement, radiation, samantha, slideshow
“Conduit” – 1×03
Episode summary:
A girl disappears in the woods in Iowa. Scully and Mulder’s investigation generates friction with local law enforcement, as well as with the NSA after the girl’s younger brother mysteriously transcribes satellite transmissions. After chasing some dead ends, meeting a biker bartender, and turning up an incidental murder, they find the girl in the woods under mysterious circumstances.
Opening up
The woods! A campfire. Kids sleeping. A camper trailer thing. A cup of coffee. Idyllic.
So, everyone’s asleep and there’s a full cup of coffee? Did the cup of coffee regrow? Was it planted there by aliens?
Wait, the coffee is shaking!
It’s pulling a Jurassic Park!
The whole RV is going crazy, and there’s a bright light! And then a little boy named Kevin tells him mom that “Ruby’s gone!” Mom starts yelling her name — AT THE SKY!
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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May 10, 2008 @ 2:51 pm
· Filed under Eugene Tooms, bath time, genetic mutation, gross substances, sunflower seeds
“Squeeze” – 1×02
Episode summary:
Agent Tom Colton, an old friend of Scully’s, asks her and Mulder for help on a serial murder case where the victims have had their livers removed, manually. Mulder’s reputation, and his theories, fuel a clash with Colton’s team, including a disagreement over the culpability of suspect Eugene Tooms, a 100-year-old mutant capable of squeezing into small places.
Opening scene
There’s a man with a suitcase!
Hold on, it’s a man with a suitcase!
And then a shot of a gutter!
Man with suitcase!
Gutter!
Eyes in the gutter!
A man with a suitcase, near a gutter.
This guy with the suitcase looks full of bile. You can tell by his tie.
I think you’re overanalyzing this.
He’s an alien under those clothes.
Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »
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for about $230. Warning: may lead to nostalgia, compulsive viewing, starting of blogs.