Archive for bath time

Psychokineptic Monocle-ation

1×05 – Shadows

Episode summary:
Our agents get called in by some mysterious, tight-lipped spooks to check out some twitchy corpses, but soon find themselves embroiled in deep weirdness tied to a woman named Lauren Kite and her dead (OR IS HE?! [yes, he is]) boss Howard Graves. After chasing some dead-ends, they eventually manage to bust Lauren’s corrupt new boss — with some help from Ghost of Howard. Later, Scully shares her thoughts re: the Liberty Bell.

Desk of a dead dude

We open on…the desk of Howard Graves! A woman is crying. Her name is Lauren. She hasn’t known a lot of people who died, or anyone whose killed themselves…meaning Howard?

And then a plaque on Howard’s desk suddenly shifts several inches ALL BY ITSELF.

GHOSTS

Then Lauren is at an ATM…

You know, lots of people call them “ATM machines”. I think it’s a government acronym coverup, to make citizens forget what the “M” stands for.
STFU, Fox.

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Bile Always Love You (season one, episode two)

“Squeeze” – 1×02

Episode summary:
Agent Tom Colton, an old friend of Scully’s, asks her and Mulder for help on a serial murder case where the victims have had their livers removed, manually. Mulder’s reputation, and his theories, fuel a clash with Colton’s team, including a disagreement over the culpability of suspect Eugene Tooms, a 100-year-old mutant capable of squeezing into small places.

Opening scene

There’s a man with a suitcase!

Hold on, it’s a man with a suitcase!
And then a shot of a gutter!
Man with suitcase!
Gutter!
Eyes in the gutter!

A man with a suitcase, near a gutter.
This guy with the suitcase looks full of bile. You can tell by his tie.
I think you’re overanalyzing this.
He’s an alien under those clothes.

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Mulder’s Big Adventure (season one, pilot episode)

“Pilot” – 1×73

Episode summary:
A girl dies in the woods in Oregon. FBI Agent Dana Scully is assigned to the X-Files — whether as a balancing scientific force or as a spy is less than clear. Her partner, Agent Fox Mulder, lays out the case of the dead girl, whose corpse bore a strange pair of dots on the lower back consistent with previous casefiles. The two travel to Oregon, where they investigate several members (living and dead) of the local high school class of 1989. After another mysterious death, they eventually encounter one of these kids, the erstwhile comatose Billy Miles, in the woods amidst a mysterious bright light. They return to the FBI with scant substantiating evidence of what they’ve seen.

The following picture is inspired by actual text…

Facebook accounts, specifically.

We see a girl running, panicked, through the woods, tumbling and scraping herself on vegetation as she flees from whatever the heck she’s fleeing from.

This girl isn’t very good at running through the woods.

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