Mulder and Scully investigate a pair of identical murders involving identical but apparently unrelated young girls. They uncover a eugenics plot and manage not to be killed by diet soda. Also, Deepthroat stops by to chat in the middle of the night because he has no life whatsoever.
A matchy-matchy jogging couple sees a little girl standing in her driveway holding a stuffed bunny. Where is her dad, you may ask? Sitting on a swing in the backyard. DEAD.
Commence with the screaming little girl.
Vocabulary word from Scully:
Mulder’s favorite pickup line:
SLIDESHOW! Apparently, lots of cows have been bled to death over the years, but this is the first time Mulder’s seen a human victim of…
Mulder and Scully head to Connecticut to look in on the girl from the driveway, Little Orphan Tina. Scully gets nothing re: suspicious folks around the house; Mulder asks some leading questions about Strange Phenomena and gets paydirt about “red lightning” and such, with a kicker:
But then Scully gets a call — there’s been “another one”!
So another murder. Same cause of death, same circumstances, exact same TIME.
Meanwhile, back in Greenwich, we get a scene of little Tina trying to bar the door of her foster care room against Unknown Intruder. She hides under the bed! The door gets kicked in! Someone grabs her! The bunny–
Back in California, the next morning, Mulder and Scully pointlessly recap what we just saw happen in the previous scene. Thanks for the needless exposition, guys. We were right there.
And then they knock on the door of the 2nd murder house, to be greeted by
Tina a girl named Cindy Reardon who looks exactly like Tina. Scully asks the big question: adopted? Hell no, says Mrs. Reardon. But it was in vitro fertilization! Hmm.
Luther Stapes Center for Reproductive Medicine
A genial white-haired doctor explains to Dana Scully, MD, what in vitro fertilization is.
Scully asks some pointed questions of Doctor Grandpa, hitting on the name of a Dr. Sally Kendrick. Gramps gets visibly uncomfortable…and puts on a nice VHS tape featuring Sally. Turns out that the clinic discovered that she was tampering with genetics. Eugenics! They canned her, and she disappeared.
And now, Mulder wearing glasses:
Turns out he was trying to ditch her so he could meet up with Deepthroat, and chaw on some sunflower seeds.
The what now?
He points our agents to a mental asylum, so that they can pay a visit to:
The agents follow a guard down a Hallway Of Crazy Moaning to the cell of our favorite band:
Wait, Eve is Sally Kendrick?! She sure looks like Sally, but then there’s some crazy clone stuff going on, so maybe not! Whoever she is, she expresses affection by biting eyeballs. Also, she’s aware that there’s a bunch of others like her out there. And they’ve got 56 chromosomes!
The little girls are Sally Kendrick second-generation clones!
Mulder and Scully camp outside young Cindy Reardon’s house, discussing the case while staring right at Cindy with binoculars — until someone snags the girl! The agents rush the house.
Aaaaaanyway, someone body-checks Scully while Mulder explores the backyard.
And then another Eve (Sally?) bursts through a pane of glass carrying chibi-Eve. Mulder pulls a gun, and then Eve does too and sort of wins by default on that front. She even takes a potshot at Mulder, and then speeds off in a car which Mulder in high labrador fashion chases on foot, futilely.
A motel north of San Francisco
Older Eve and Cindy/chibi-Eve head into a motel room, where Tina is…tied up in the bathroom. The two girls exchange CREEPY SMILES. While the agents pick up a lead on the case, Sally drops some exposition on the girls, who then sort of seem to freak Sally out by being so chilled out about magically knowing that they should kill their respective fathers.
Also, the girls totally poisoned Sally’s soda with Foxglove. Oops! Convulsing Sally grabs a kitchen knife, and then…cut to cops outside! The agents bust into the hotel room! Sally’s dead, and the window is busted out!
And the girls snowjob the agents with a like Jonestown mass-poisoning story or something and blame it all on Eve 8.
Our heroes take custody of the Red Blazer Twins and start driving back to wherever. Then they take a bathroom break at the Hi-Way 49 Cafe, where, uh…
Everybody goes into the bathrooms, but then one of the hellions sneaks back out and drops some foxglove into a couple of the sodas. Mulder takes a sip! Does he know what’s up? Is he faking them out? He converses about his soda.
But Mulder forgot his keys inside! He goes back for them…and notices a rim of green on the counter! Foxglove! So he didn’t know.
So he rushes back out but tries to play it cool while SHOUTING SCULLY’S NAME and also KNOCKING THE DRINK OUT OF HER HAND. Somehow, the evil genius clone twins manage to twig that the game is up and bolt, which leads us to a chase through a truck yard. Mulder grabs ‘em, but then they start screaming and a couple of truckers make him let the girls go.
They ask the waitress if she’s seen the twins; she says no but points out that a bunch of schoolkids just left on a bus.
Mulder and Scully tear off after the bus in the car, but the girls were hiding under a tarp in a nearby boat the whole time. But Mulder was actually waiting for them, and grabs ‘em again!
Mrs. Reardon burns Cindy’s picture. Cold.
Cut to the sanitarium, where older Eve talks to the girls, creepily, as is her wont, and then they get a visit from a doctor lady in a white coat. It’s Eve 8.