The Jersey Devil — 1×04
After a corpse turns up in New Jersey with limbs chewed off BY HUMAN TEETH, Scully and Mulder head to Atlantic City, where Mulder argues with a local top cop and manages to spend a night in jail. With some help from an anthropologist and a park ranger, the agents eventually track down the (female!) Jersey Devil, but she’s killed in an altercation with the local police force. Also, Scully goes on a date.
Night. A nuclear family in a car outside New Jersey. Singing “BINGO”. Flat tire! Dad goes out to fix it. Taps on the wife’s window with his flashlight, and says:
“Honey, do you mind holding the light for a secoAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRBGGGGH”
Next morning, a search team finds his body. With a leg eaten off. And then they surround the entrance of a cave in which there lurks something “as big as a house”. Like half a dozen cops shoot whatever it is.
At FBI headquarters
Scully walks in on Mulder reading “Hankypanky”. The centerfold, specifically. Scully’s shirt is tightly buttoned up, perhaps as a subconscious, prescient expression of disapproval.
But enough about porn. Scully has news:
The scoop: a human has been gnawing off another human’s limbs. So it could literally take your knees out, if you were the victim. Right.
They’re going to Atlantic City, so Mulder tries to be witty.
Fact: Scully is Vulcan.
A visit to Atlantic City
Mulder and Scully meet a nice coroner lady in the Atlantic City morgue, but their peaceful corpse talk is soon disrupted by a grumpy Detective Thompson.
There’s some grr grr Mulder grr action with the detective, and Thompson makes it clear he doesn’t want them helping–
–with the case. So our heroes bail, or at least Scully does.
Mulder stays in town and hits a casino because…well, that’s not really clear. To make a phone call? From a casino?
Mulder flips through the phone book, in what is clearly a bluescreened shot set against stock casino footage.
Nope, Parks services. Mulder hooks up out in the woods with an affable park ranger who seems maybe not so skeptical about the Jersey Devil as most folks. He’s seen things. He’s found things, like scat.
At the party
Scully helps out at her godson’s party…
…where kids prove the genetic link between man and the great apes.
Insights from Scully as she chats with her godson’s mom, uh, Ellen?
On Mulder, who Ellen says Dana says is cute:
Cut to: Mulder in the woods, looking for the fucking Jersey Devil.
And then some good-looking hunk of blond divorcee wanders into Ellen’s house and makes eyes at Scully. He’s picking up his
monkey son Scott.
Outskirts of Atlantic City
Mulder canvases the local homeless population for friends of Roger Crockett, the guy whose corpsey gnawed-on-ness got our agents out here in the first place. He finds an unkempt looking dude who says he knows Crockett. “I’ll show you something”, says the guy.
Actually, it’s a crude drawing of a naked person with long scraggly hair. Dude has SEEN IT! Mulder trades the dude the key to his hotel room–
–in exchange for camping rights in the dude’s cardboard box.
Night falls. Mulder sees something — someone — in the alley where he’s hiding. It sniffs the air! He ducks!
It bolts! Mulder chases! The, uh, cops arrive–
–and throw him in the drunk tank. Where he gets a visit from grumpy old Detective Thompson. Mulder and Thompson growl at each other, Mulder about the Devil, Thompson about having A Job To Do. The whole scene is kind of lousy, really. Check this out:
OH IS THAT YOUR JOB? Or is it to keep the dice rolling, keep the tour buses rolling in. You can’t fill those casinos, this town disappears like a quarter down the slot.
I’ve seen it.
[displays crude drawing of naked humanoid]
You’ve been spending too much time in supermarket checkout lines.
Back at DC HQ FTW ROFL BRB
Scully gets a call from Mulder.
She bails him out. And takes him to eat some pie. And then…
Meet Scully’s anthropologist
Scully brings Mulder to visit a dude at University of Maryland, who explains the Jersey Devil as a cross-cultural myth.
Professor Dinosaur also points out that “Barring the introduction of some alien life form, we will live out our days as rulers of the world.”
And a catch-phrase in the making:
Scully’s big dating adventure
Dana on a date with Scott’s Dad Guy. She has chosen to wear the stupidest blouse in the history of television dating. It’s made out of old ladies and shoulder pads.
There’s kind of a half-formed sight-gag here: dude asks about the case she’s working on, followed by cut to him cutting up meat.
Back to Mulder, who is still in the office at 8pm, proving that he has a life. And then that nice park ranger calls him to tell him he found a corpse in the woods — maybe the thing that might have maybe been the Jersey Devil, maybe!
So he pages Scully on her date, solely to tell her that he thinks maybe the Jersey Devil is a Jersey She-Devil.
And then he stares at the bosomy Bigfoot picture some more.
Atlantic City Morgue
The agents (and Professor dude) follow Park Ranger’s tip and head back into Jersey — but the body he told Mulder he’d found never got to the morgue! Cover-up! So they go on a field trip, sneaking into an abandoned warehouse with a tranquilizer gun.
They find some blood — evidence that
Bigfoot The Jersey Devil is here?
And then the, like, SWAT team or whatever figures out that they’ve snuck into the warehouse? And start sneaking in after them with big guns?
Thompson is here with the pile of cops. He’s looking for Mulder. Oh man. And Mulder and Scully split up, for no apparent reason. Mulder sees the thing out a second-story window. Mulder JUMPS out the window and gives chase. Scully, not to be outdone, ALSO jumps out the window, and pulls her gun to boot.
Mulder wanders around in another dark basement room of the abandoned warehouse…and gets jumped by something! Some…one!
Scully catches up and spoils the moment.
INJURY ALERT: Mulder gets a nice wound to the abdomen from the wild lady.
Mulder is into strong women. And pain. And lung-ripping.
Into the woods
The Devil wounds a SWAT guy and escapes back into the forest on the outskirts of town. Our merry band of agents, Park Ranger, and Archaeopteryx track her down — ranger dude puts a tranq dart into her from like 200 yards and they follow her. But Thompson and friends are in the forest too, and…
Our heroes catch up with the local police folks and find that the Devil is dead! The cops killed her! Mulder does the sadly-closing-the-dead-person’s-eyes-with-your-hand thing that people do in shows, and sort of stares emotively for a minute.
And now, some extremely bad acting:
Mulder broods over some photos of the dead wildwoman. Scully drops by with some medical results. Human remains in the stomach! And there’s evidence that she had given birth. Mulder gets all excited and grabs his coat. He’s gonna find that Baby Devil! He’s gonna–
Also, Scully is wearing one hell of a red jacket:
So then Rob, Father Of Scott calls — ON MULDER’S PHONE, OMG — to see if Dana and her godson want to go see Cirque d’ Soleil with him and his kid. Mulder wanders off to requisition a car, but a minute later up walks Scully, who explains under questioning that she turned down Dad Guy for another date. She follows him and his newly-requisitioned keys out of the office.
Hint: it is Scully who is holding the door.
Fat chance. Time for…