“Deep Throat” – 1×01
Mulder and Scully investigate the disappearance of an Air Force Lt. Colonel named Robert Budahas, despite a warning from a mysterious figure that they should stay away from the case. After seeing mysterious lights flying over an airbase and interviewing the suddenly-returned Lt. Col., Mulder sneaks onto the military base, only to encounter a UFO at close range — and then have his memory of the experience erased by military doctors. Scully rescues Mulder from the base, and they return to FBI headquarters empty-handed.
Military police are storming a house! There’s a…naked shivering man with bad skin!
Mulder and Scully in a bar
Scully is wearing her glasses again, although she’s not digging into a corpse currently.
Mulder offers Scully a drink; she points out it’s 2pm. Mulder himself doesn’t so much order a drink either, though.
It turns out that that crazy shivery guy was named Colonel Budahas, whose wife reports that he’s been kidnapped! By the Air Force! For four months!
There were rumors that those pilots were shot down at high altitudes — while they were routinely penetrating Russian airspace.
Heh. Routinely penetrating. Also:
And Scully asks, for the first of about five thousand times I think, something like this:
I don’t get it, Mulder. Does this have something to do with an X-File?
In the Restroom
Mulder heads to the restroom to…pee? Or wash his hands? Anyway, suddenly a strange man confronts him! Creepily! And locks the door. Rude.
Let’s just say I’m in a position to know quite a lot of things.
Dude doesn’t really say what any of those things are, though.
Microfilm: pretty awesome
At Chez Mulder
Mulder’s home! He’s got some art on the walls, and a kitchen. It looks like maybe he cooks?
Also, his phone is tapped, maybe? Clicky noises.
So the agents fly to the spud state to visit Mrs. Budahas. She reports that Col. Bob started getting weird a couple years ago, getting a rash and having seizures and PUTTING FISHFOOD ON HIS DINNER.
Mrs. Budahas figures it’s because he was a test pilot, though he couldn’t talk about the details of his work.
Conspiracy buzzword from Scully:
The Aurora Project!
Mulder has one of those new-fangled cellular phones. It’s about seven inches long. 1993 rocked.
The agents try to get someone from the base to talk to them, but get nowhere. Mulder decides to short circuit the military’s runaround by aggressively confronting a Col. Kissel in his own driveway. Kissel slams the door in his face.
Ooh, a nosy reporter! Paul Mossinger! His take on UFOs, when pressed by Mulder: “A bunch of hooey”.
Hunting for UFOs
Mulder and Scully follow (presumably) a tip from that reporter, and head to a diner where there’s a lady who takes pictures of UFOs.
She sells Mulder a print for twenty dollars.
[to diner lady] What are the chances of someone like me seeing a UFO?
[makes eyes at diner lady]
Implied: Mulder trades sexual favors for UFO information.
They drive to a military compound using Mulder’s diner-lady directions; Mulder camps out on a hill outside the fence of the base while Scully naps desultorily in the car. Nightfall: the back windshield of the car explodes!
This wakes Scully up.
Mulder makes her come watch some crazy flying lights over the base.
That’s unreal. I’ve never seen anything like it.
They’ve been going at it like that for almost half an hour.
A bright light approaches them!
No, it’s a helicopter. Goddam fakeout glowing lights. Mulder and Scully chase a couple of grungy kids into the trees. One of them is Seth Green!
Naturally, they take the kids out for hamburgers.
Seth Green gives a great goddam hamburger-based speech about UFOs here. Just, seriously, if there was an Emmy for Best Food-Prop-Based Speech, this. By a landslide.
Then, later, the agents have a discussion in their rent-a-car:
Mulder, are you suggesting that the military is flying UFOs?
No. Planes built using UFO technology.
The discussion comes to a head.
Tell me I’m crazy.
Mulder, you’re crazy.
Whoa! Mrs. Budahas reports that the Col. has come home! Mulder and Scully rush over — and she tearfully explains that he’s NOT HER HUSBAND! The hubby seems slightly upset by this. Mulder grills him on some pilot junk, and the Col. can’t remember!
I think they rewired that man’s brain. Some kind of selective memory drain.
Vocabulary word from Scully:
Some men in black confront Mulder and Scully on the road! They go through their stuff, unload their guns, punch Mulder, tear the film out of their camera, and tell the agents to get the hell out of town.
Back at the motel…
Scully argues that what with Mr. Budahas no longer missing and MIBs threatening them, they should indeed go home. Mulder concedes the point and says he’s going to shower — and then sneaks out of the bathroom window, I guess? and TAKES THEIR CAR.
Seth Green and friend show Mulder to the base again and give him instructions, including: don’t go beyond the tall weeds.
Mulder waits for night fall, and then GOES BEYOND THE TALL WEEDS. And then a giant glowing light!
No, it’s — oh, yeah, no, it totally is a triangular UFO. Huh.
And then the military police show up and wrestle Mulder onto a stretcher and give him an injection!
Back at the motel, Scully has phone trouble and marches out of her room. Lingering shot on her gun, sitting on the table. Is the gun going to shoot the phone?
Mulder at the military base: hazy visions of men in white lab coats, bright lights, and…a UFO behind plastic sheeting?! Or is Mulder just seeing things?
Motel again: it’s that reporter! But he’s not really a reporter, he’s a spook! Scully, gunless (OH HEY THAT WAS FORESHADOWING UP THERE) tussles with him and finally grabs his gun and makes him drive her to the base!
Mulder! On a table! Doctors! Medical instruments! Freaky…eyedrops!
Scully arrives at the gate, spook reporter driving at gunpoint. They bring Mulder out!
Mulder tells Scully that he saw something but can’t remember what — they wiped his brain! (How does he know? Is it like a fuzzy tip-of-your-tongue thing, like he can remember remembering but can’t remember what? Or can he not remember a damn thing whatsoever and is just presuming that, you know, they sure went to a lot of effort so they MUST be hiding something good?)
They pay a final visit to Mrs. Budahas. She’s suddenly…reticent.
They got to her, Scully. They were here. They must have threatened her and–
That’s enough, Mulder! We don’t know anything. Anything more than when we got here. And that’s what I’m gonna write in my field report.
Scully writes up a report that pretty much says just that. Mulder goes for a sweaty run and ends up chatting up Deep Throat again.
What is your interest?
They’re here, aren’t they?
Mr. Mulder, they’ve been here for a long, long time.