Lazarus

Episode Summary
Scully’s fellow agent and old flame Jack Willis gets shot and killed (or does he?!) by a bank robber named Dupre who has a spooky tattoo and a nutty girlfriend named Lula. Jack gets possessed by Dupre, Scully gets handcuffed to a radiator, insulin gets wasted: it’s all very titillating. Also, Mulder remembers his ninth grade math.

Bankman and Robbin’

Scully and some guy named Agent Willis are in a bank that’s about to close… waiting nervously for someone!

Meanwhile, two bank robbers in a car outside–

–talk about luck and call each other “Baby” a lot and franticly make out a little bit, giving us a peek at the dude robber’s forearm tattoo:

And then the hockey mask and the shotgun and the shouting and the hey hey hey, and the robber shoots Agent Willis and Scully shoots the robber.

Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »

Hi! Josh here. We’re not dead, we’re just deeply, deeply distracted by other things, two of those things being Freyja and Frigg, our new kittens. (They are both girls, so “Mulder” & “Scully” was right out. But I’m sure Fox could come up with some way to tie Norse mythology into his theory about a case, to which Scully would be all like

but then Mulder would interrupt her and be all

and then Scully would all raise her eyebrow and shit but it’d turn out at the end of the episode that that’s exactly what was going on more or less, because Mulder always gets away with that kind of thing. Plus the blond electrified guest star would go by “Dino” and Scully would be playing with some scrabble tiles and figure out the anagram and have a moment of doubt.)

But anyway, we’ve got an episode coming up soon, I promise.

In the mean time, you should soothe the MBA-withdrawal by checking out this new site I built a couple weeks ago, called Look At This Cat. It’s a place where there are cats and you can look at them, and it’s another big part of why I’ve been distracted.

Gender Bender

Episode summary:
Mulder and Scully investigate a suspicious death, leading them into rural Massachusetts and a pre-technology collective that calls itself The Kindred and is totally not the Amish, we swear. Sex-change, resurrection, and hot sexy pheremonal hijinks ensue, and Mulder gets kicked in the face.

Out Clubbin’

We see an eyeball!

And then a disco ball!

And then an eyeball! Again! It’s madness!

And then a whole bunch of party people!

Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »

Here comes 2009, and (not to get all resolution-y or anything) hopefully more steady biweekly updates to the site.

Thanks for reading, and may the whammy be with you.

1×12 Beyond the sea

Episode summary:
Scully’s dad dies; a serial killer nabs some kids; Brad Dourif overacts in exactly the way we love to see him overact; Scully has visions of dead dad; Mulder gets shot pretty good; and you end up with the song “Beyond the Sea” stuck in your head for about five million years.

Chez Dana

It’s Major Garland Briggs! What’s he doing in Scully’s house?

Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »

1×11 Fire

Episode Summary:
A pyromaniac named either Bob or Cecil tries to burn some old rich dude to death, as is apparently his wont. Mulder and Scully try to stop him, while Mulder’s old Oxford flame Phoebe reminds us just how nice it is that Phoebe is never in any other episodes besides this one.

Ye Olde England

An old rich dude! An Irish gardener guy named Cecil!

Oh no! Richie McRicherson is on fire!

And Cecil just sits there, grinning Irishly.

Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »

ITEM: Pilot Tracked, Lost Giant UFO Over London in 1957

“I was only a lieutenant and very much aware of the gravity of the situation. I felt very much like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest,” he said.

ITEM: 4,100 lb Dried Tofu Sets World Record

Workers spent more than 38 hours to make this giant piece of dried tofu. It has set the Guinness World Record for the largest piece of dried tofu in the world.

ITEM: We’re really, really sorry we haven’t been updating. It turns out that the only thing more distracting than trying to buy a house is succeeding at buying a house and moving into it.

1×10 Eve

Episode summary:
Mulder and Scully investigate a pair of identical murders involving identical but apparently unrelated young girls. They uncover a eugenics plot and manage not to be killed by diet soda. Also, Deepthroat stops by to chat in the middle of the night because he has no life whatsoever.

Greenwich, CT!

A matchy-matchy jogging couple sees a little girl standing in her driveway holding a stuffed bunny. Where is her dad, you may ask? Sitting on a swing in the backyard. DEAD.

Commence with the screaming little girl.

Mulder’s big adventure continues inside »

David Duchovny. In rehab. For sex addiction.

Not making this up.

Next week: Gillian Anderson diagnosed with chronic acute awesomitis.

(We’re working on a writeup for Eve currently. Still trying to buy that house, but we’ll have a proper update soon, we promise. And it will involve a joke about a butt.)

Mulder’s Big Adventure is a little sidetracked right now, and we feel terrible about that, so sorry for the big delay between updates. Right now, we’re pretty heavily distracted by Josh and Angela’s Big House Purchasing Adventure, but we’ll try to get another episode up soon.

Two things:

1. Movie. Will try to talk about it soon as well. It was good. It was not perfect.
1b. Beard!
1c. Googling is something that would normally happen before proposing a specific and highly experimental treatment, Dr. Scully.

2. Bigfoot. I guess they caught him? I don’t know.